Refund this!

Friday, Apr. 05, 2002 ~ 12:24 PM

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I am pissed off. But it wasn�t always this way. This morning: I woke up, I looked at the blue sky outside of my window and then I rolled over deeper into my covers. I few moments later, I got out of bed, put some pyjamas on and padded downstairs to the kitchen for a bite of coffee roll. I noticed that the message light on the phone was flashing.
If life were a �Choose You Own Adventure� book, I would have skipped ahead a few pages to take a sneak peek at the outcome and then would have proceeded to ignore the flashing light and just go upstairs to do my crunches.
Instead I pressed play. It was my mother asking that either I or my brother [which really means that the message is for me] call her at work as soon as we get the message. I call her. She wants me to call the IRS to check on the status of our income tax refunds.

Have I mentioned yet that I hate the IRS? I hate the IRS. Does she know the number that I�m supposed to call? No. Do I have to rifle through her tax info and decipher her tax info shorthand to find it? Yes. Have I any alcohol in the house to comfort me after my ordeal? No.

I call the number that she gives me only to be directed by a very bitchy automated IRS agent that I had to call another number. I call the other number to find that contrary to my knowledge, my taxes had not been filed electronically (or at all) on February 17th, the date that my mother�s tax guy, Wilson, prepared them for us and charged us for their preparation and filing. I am now extremely pissed off, not to mention that my morning routine has been shot to hell.

I call my mother to relay what I�d learned and she said, �Can you just follow up on that?� Follow up. Follow up on what!?! We haven�t filed our taxes! We thought we had, or checkbooks thought we had� but it appears that we haven�t! (through clenched teeth) �What would you suggest Mom?� In full business detachment, �Well just call the IRS back and ask them what we should do?� Have I mentioned that I hate being on hold? I hate being on hold. I have I mentioned that I spent 45 minutes on hold this morning with the IRS? (you know what comes next) ! *^$#^! &*%$#!^^*&%&$#%$#@!

So� the IRS informs me that I had to re-file. And that I could take my things back to Wilson, or mail the forms, or I could spend 20 more dollars and do a rapid refund via a tax service over the internet.

What I have decided to do is go online and order myself some very unnecessary items from Agent Provacateur� or (since I have no money and will not be getting my refund any time soon) at least put them in my shopping basket.

Must go� need a cookie.

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