ID Please

Friday, Feb. 22, 2002 ~ 4:35 PM

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I just wanna show you the way that I feel.

Generally, I try to stay away from actors. This presents quite a problem as I am one doesn't it? What I mean to say is... when at an audition, I generally try to stay away from the other actors. Walking in the waiting area for actors is the most stressful part of the audition. As you soon as you step in you must be prepared to do battle. You are sized up and classified. You are then either deemed a threat or dismissed as no competition... either way you run the risk of being treated extraordinarily snubly. Actresses are the worst. What I feel when I walk into an audition is not, "Is she more talented than I? I wonder what her background is." It's "Is she prettier than me? Look at what she's wearing." It's very disappointing to me that some actresses make the audition process a beauty pageant. I realize that most of the time actors treat each other this way to over compensate for some pre-audition nerves; but I also know that some actors aren't covering for nerves.

I would like to say that my audition today went swimmingly. Eventhough there were some beauty queens there, I managed to find some very nice actresses to pass the time with. I fell into my monologue (that's a good thing for me) and I managed not to bore my audience. The only set-back that I can forsee is the fact that after I was done performing the writer/director asked me how old I was. When the description of the play calls for a "young woman" it doesn't bode well to be asked your actual age. The director seemed satisfied to find that I'm 21 but I don't think that jumping off of the little stage that I was on helped my case. I can't help it... I'm a jumper.

After my audition, I ran into some women from Oxygen (the channel for women that Oprah started) and they convinced me to make a fool of myself on national TV for the second time in my short life. The topic: love. The question that was the hardest for me to answer was about the craziest palce that I've made love... my mother watches Oxygen all of the time. She loves it. I don't know how keen she'd be about the idea of her daughter talking about being with someone knowing that someone else can hear and still being loud about it. But in my defense, I haven't made love in any crazy places. Sigh. Oh well, there's nothing that I can do about it now.

I feel so lovely right now. I just had some excellent hummus at this delightful ittle vegan place on 6th street and First Avenue and now I'm here at the cyber cafe in Times Square killing time. And I feel so high. Acting on any level gives me such a rush... such a high. It's the same kind of blissed dizziness as when She kissed me.

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