Machine Mahem

Tuesday, Jul. 09, 2002 ~ 3:41 PM

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I just wanna show you the way that I feel.

I am sure that the person who thought of vending machines did so with the notion that they would be providing a much-needed service. And would make a person's life that much easier by easing them of that much stress.

Asshole!

The vending machine is one of the number one causes of stress in my daily life. The selection is daunting. You are forced to process whether or not you hanker for sweet or salty. Hard or chewy. And then combinations within. Of course, you could try the whole, choose what you want before going to the vending machine routine... but then there's always the chance that your selection won't be there.

After making your choice, there is that actual object retrieval issue. You must be careful entering in the proper alphanumeric combination, lest your desire for a Snickers bar meet the harsh reality of having chosen a PayDay. Bloody dyslexia. Assuming that you have made it through the selection process without a hitch, there's still the possibility that either your snack of choice or your hand/elbow/arm [Yes. It is possible.] will get stuck. And then! It could be stale.

Stressless. Yeah, and I have perfect vision!

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