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You know, for the longest time I thought that I didn�t like women because I didn�t like my sister and her friends and the women that they held in high esteem. But now I realize that it was just that I didn�t like my sister. or her friends. or the women that they held in high esteem. I keep telling myself that she�ll get better. She�s only 18 and very sheltered and the world is just beginning for her. I keep telling myself that I�ll get better. I�m only 22 and very judgmental of her and the world is just beginning for me. The truth is: I�m a bad older sister. I was never one of those children who wanted siblings but when they came I didn�t really mind. And I didn�t really pay them any mind. Devin is and always has been in all ways a most stereotypical child. I was� odd. It actually annoyed me as a child that she wanted to follow me around because she looked up to me. �Why follow me around? Go do your own thing. Be your own person� was my general response. And even now she�s always asking me questions. Whereareyougoingwhatareyoudoingwhoareyougoingwithwhydoyouthinktheworldisround (inhale) howdoyouknowthemoonisn�tmadeofcheesehowdoyouspellC-H-I-C-A-G-Ocanyoudothisforme? And mostly I just want to be left alone. And not have every insignificant part of my life pried into. And she�s says things to me like: �You�re so secretive. It�s almost like you don�t want to talk/answer my questions.� And I know she means well, but it�s been 18 years and she still hasn�t figured out that I suck at this. She makes me sigh. And she�s the sweetest girl you�ll ever meet. And she�ll make a fabulous woman. And I love her. I just don�t really like her unless there�s at least a couple of hours distance between us. And I feel guilty for being such a bitch. And I feel guilty that she�s stuck with me. But� there�s nothing that either one of us can do about that now. If I were going to own an adult toy store I would name it Needful Things, or Guilty Pleasures, or� to go into total cheese mode� The Cat�s Meow. These are the things that I think about at work when people are too busy to play with me. . How Rude! - Wednesday, Sept. 22, 2004 - 12:16 PM One small step but no giant leap. - Tuesday, Sept. 30, 2003 - 11:17 AM Where's George? - Thursday, Sept. 25, 2003 - 12:48 PM |
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a Nifty design 
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