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Here is the thing. It is not that I can�t get some shit little job for two months and work it until I�m blue in the face and save money and maybe be able to move to the city in July and maybe have everything work out swimmingly. It is that I have rushed myself before when it comes to a living situation and I do not believe in maybes. I am not the sort of person that everything just works out for. I find a way to get everything undone. It is not that I don�t have the confidence that I can�t work some job that I hate simply for the money� I�ve done it before� it�s that I don�t want to put Jenny and Jon in the situation where they�re counting on me to be ready and I�m not. I don�t want them to have to rely on my maybe. And if they can get to the city on their own and not have to worry about any outside instability� then it seems the wisest that they do that. Not that I don�t love them and want to live with them. Not that this staffing agency thing isn�t lucrative. It�s that they KNOW that they can� and why deal with a maybe when you really don�t have to. I�d prefer that I be the only one really frustrated with me. My� it�s amazing to me how being with my family always manages to reduce me to my most insecure. How suddenly, I�m just a 11 year old in despair again. And yet� just when I don�t even want to be around me� I am IMed by Army Boy. [I think that I�ll rename him Sergeant Stalk Much.] Somehow I�ve got my cell phone hooked up to MSN Messenger and I can receive messages that way. This morning I awoke to: �Hi. how are you? I miss you a lot.� and �Hi. it�s me. where are you?� And I know you�re thinking �careful what you wish for,� but I would like to point I out that I was very specific about the type of stalker that I�d like to have. (wishing very hard) Cookies. . How Rude! - Wednesday, Sept. 22, 2004 - 12:16 PM One small step but no giant leap. - Tuesday, Sept. 30, 2003 - 11:17 AM Where's George? - Thursday, Sept. 25, 2003 - 12:48 PM |
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a Nifty design 
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