Mountains and Mole Hills

Thursday, Mar. 21, 2002 ~ 1:07 AM

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You know that you�ve officially turned into �that crazy girl� when:

*It appears that She�s ignoring you (when She�s really ignoring everyone) and you insist upon IMing Her.
*You spend the entire day in feverish-misery (because you�re convinced that She�s giving you the silent treatment).
*You finally break down and leave [not one, but] two very scary messages. One on her cell and one on her voice mail at work.

Yup. That was me today. So was I surprised when she emailed me about my irrational behavior and suggested that we needed to �take a step back until things get back to normal�? Nope. Can you blame Her? I went fuck*ng psychotic today. I was so convinced that She was upset with me and ignoring me. I hate to admit it, but the thought of Her displeasure makes me insecure and I hate who I become when I�m insecure. I do not think that Andi-s are cut out for� well, for Her-s.

So� we�re taking a step back. (sighs) It�s all my fault really. What I�m hoping for is that we can eventually take a � step forward. I know that we�ll never reach if we keep taking � steps; just like I know that She�s with Brenda and that even if she wasn�t she�d never be with me. But the thought that appeals to me is the continuation of the relationship... the looking forward� the possibility that comes from placing one foot in front of the other for those � steps.

But� on an up-swing. I get to meet Trish on Saturday (smiles) at the Met. ________________________________________ (shyly) I think� I think that I will fill in the blank at a later date.

So my esteemed cosmic columnist, Rob Brezny says:
ARIES (March 21-April 19):
"Life, with all its evenings,/religiously returns each morning like/a mountain opening up within the heart." So writes poet Frank Lima. I'm pleased to offer you this image as your birthday present, Aries. It captures a sense of the wild immensity that's just beginning to grow in you. Please refrain from subjecting it to logical analysis for now; don't frame it in an abstract idea that reduces the gorgeous mystery to dry psychobabble. Simply honor the mountain opening up within your heart.

(chuckling) I do not think that this little missy needs any more �wild immensity.� I might hurt myself or get myself locked away. Though� my mother always has said that I could make a mountain out of a mole hill.

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Now Shake it all about!

Last 5 Entries

How Rude! - Wednesday, Sept. 22, 2004 - 12:16 PM

One small step but no giant leap. - Tuesday, Sept. 30, 2003 - 11:17 AM

Where's George? - Thursday, Sept. 25, 2003 - 12:48 PM

Gypsy - Wednesday, Sept. 24, 2003 - 8:44 AM

I'm no Artemis. - Wednesday, Aug. 13, 2003 - 8:19 AM