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(yawning) Well, I made it safely to and from Boston and despite my mother�s seeming efforts to the contrary, we didn�t hit any Leprechauns. I fussed and I fretted and I faked the funk and crashed the audition and met the Artistic Director of the Hampstead Players, Michael, who�s a very charming cross between pudding and an Edward Gorey character. I was treated to a free lunch and a free dose of neuroses by my mother. And now I�m tired. I�ve been daydreaming all day and my my, what dreams do come. �I spent a reckless night inside the wonder of your everlasting charm, now I�m haunted by geography, and the flora and fauna of your heart.� (smiling shyly) "Oh! If I've gone overboard then I'm begging you to forgive me; oh in my haste, when I'm holding you up girl, so close to me." (blushes) (sighs) I�m getting old. In two weeks (April First) I will be 22. 22 is a cliff-like age. You�re without the �I�m 21 and legal!� rush. And you�re not yet in the prime of your twenties and even then� all you have coming toward you is the big looming three-zero. I look down and around at myself and wonder where time has gotten to and what I�ve done with it. All of my friends are growing up and out and I don�t feel like I am. If anything I feel like I�m backpedaling. I am worried that I won�t make a good adult. Impending adulthood leaves me with gaping insecurities. I stand gawking at my short-comings. I worry that I won�t be enough (of an adult) for a relationship. I worry about what I have to offer in this new grown-up landscape. I wonder what I�m sowing. This� this isn�t a �pity-me� entry. This is just how I feel about 22. This is just how I feel about growing older but not wiser. I always wanted to be like wine� better with age� but I�m not so sure about that right now. Bah! fuck it! I�m still 21 for right now and I�m going to take my cute, talented, and tired self to bed. !!Oh! I just thought of an upside to my birthday: CAKE. And tonight's music: "Crash" Dave Matthews Band and "Starkville" Amy Ray. . How Rude! - Wednesday, Sept. 22, 2004 - 12:16 PM One small step but no giant leap. - Tuesday, Sept. 30, 2003 - 11:17 AM Where's George? - Thursday, Sept. 25, 2003 - 12:48 PM |
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a Nifty design 
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