Confessions from a Moth Thursday, Mar. 07, 2002 ~ 2:43 AM << >>
In my head I found you there,
and running around and following me.
But you don't, oh, dare, now.
I, I held your hand at the fair and
even forgot what time it was.
And even Thomas Jefferson wasn't born
in your backyard like you have said and
maybe I'm just the horizon you run to...
And spring brings fresh little puddles that makes it all clear
makes it all...
Hey, do you know, hey, do you know, what this is doing to me?
Here in my head.
-"Here in my Head" Tori Amos
She got into my head tonight. Look at me, it's the wee hours of the morning and it's only just now that I can think to put this down, to put the thought of Her outside of me. But damn! That Lady! (smile) We were IMing and tripping a bit over syntax.
Andi: you do do something for me. why would you ever doubt that?
Her: because you blatantly told me that you never think about me
Andi: but baby, it's not really my place to think about you anymore. i mean, i have to keep my fantasies/thoughts to myself. i was joking when i said that. would you rather i said, that i think of you frequently?
Her: i wouldn't prefer any dear...i just don't think it's very sensitive of you to say you "never" think of me
Andi: dear, i really didn't think that it matter to you whether or not i think of you. i did not mean to be insensitive. I apologize.
Her: it's ok...and it's not that i don't care either way at all. of course i care...i care about you...so it hurts when you say you dont ever think of me. even if you were being sassy
Andi: darling, i'm in love with you. of course i think of you. part of me will always be yours so how can i NOT think of you. kiss lol... you still have such power over me. (shaking head). lol. smile. are you okay?
Her: i'm fine. sorry..you didn't have to explain yourself. i was just trying to relay my feelings to you
Andi: yes i did.
Her: but thank you. sweet
Andi: i know. i just wanted to be as honest with you as you are with me.
Her: good. i like honesty. always the best policy
I am struck by how sensitive She's being tonight. So after we sort ourselves out we continue on with our conversation and I send Her to bed. But just as She leaves She turns the tables on me completely and teases me as only She can. I know that She was smiling as She signed off. I could feel it. She knows me way too well. She knows exactly what to say to get the desired effect. She is flame and I am moth. At least She's not one of those moth lamps. At least I go out with dignity. For a moth.
~~>This is my abrupt ending of this entry. I'm talking to Kate. And Kate, well, she's great. :)
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Last 5 Entries
How Rude! - Wednesday, Sept. 22, 2004 - 12:16 PM One small step but no giant leap. - Tuesday, Sept. 30, 2003 - 11:17 AM Where's George? - Thursday, Sept. 25, 2003 - 12:48 PM Gypsy - Wednesday, Sept. 24, 2003 - 8:44 AM I'm no Artemis. - Wednesday, Aug. 13, 2003 - 8:19 AM
